Tree Wisdom
by Actual Banshee
Summary: Mabel wakes up feeling like blah, she doesn't annoy Dipper or eats her favorite happy face pancakes. But when she attempts to figure out what's wrong with her, Mabel just gets irritated and leaves the shake. She receives help from someone she didn't expect to talk to. Rate K because I have a potty mouth in the author's notes.
1. Tree Wisdom

**Gravity Falls**

**One Shot**

**Tree Wisdom**

**Author's note and disclaimer: So this is my first Gravity Falls story, please be gentle. I love, love, love Mabel. I decided that if I ever want to have kids and end up having a girl I'm naming her Mabel and I won't give two shits what the husband wants. I've decided and there is no changing my mind. I do not own Gravity Feels. Oops my hand slipped.**

Everything that morning seemed off to Mabel. She didn't feel like herself when she woke up, late, which never happened. She liked making her brother and Grunkle happy pancakes, but today it was Dipper who made them. Her brother and Grunkle noticed how quiet she was, but didn't really know if they should rush her to the hospital or ignore it. She finished half of her happy face pancakes before pushing the plate away. Mabel excused herself, her head hung low as she shuffled back up the room she and Dipper shared.

She climbed back into bed, laid down for a few minutes and sat back up. Frustrated that she still felt blah, Mabel dove back under the covers and closed her eyes as her body shifted into a different sleeping position. Thinking this time she would be her old self when she jumped out of the bed. She had no luck, however, and tried over and over to find her usual happy self. She gave up and stomped down the stairs and glared at her brother and uncle as she huffed through the front door.

"What's eatin' her?" Grunkle Stand asked flipping through the channels.

"I don't even want to know." Dipper replied reading over a page from the journal.

Mabel grumbled through the forest, kicking pine cones and pulling leaves from a tree.

"That hurt!" A voice shrieked as a root lifted itself, causing Mabel to trip. "What do you think you're doing young lady? Hurting me like that?"

Mabel rubbed the area of her head where it throbbed, "I am so not in the mood for this." When she glanced up she came eye to eye with the angry eyes of a tree. Anyone else would have screamed and ran away, but recently Mabel and Dipper have come across some strange things in the small county of Oregon. "Nothing affects me anymore." Mabel said aloud with a dead pan tone.

"I would think such a nice looking young lady would know better than to rip leaves off a tree." The tree grumbled and brought its branch forward to reveal the newly naked spot where her proud leaves once waved in the wind.

Mabel felt the dead in her hand and automatically felt guilty. She sat on the ground with her legs crossing each other. "I'm sorry Miss Tree, I don't normally hurt plants or animals, but I haven't been myself today and I don't know why."

Miss Tree looked upon Mabel's anguished face and took pity. She sensed that the young girl had a pure heart, but something was changing inside of her. When Miss Tree turned her attention back to Mabel, the young girl was burying the leaves close to the trunk.

"Why don't you tell me what troubles you." Miss Tree picked Mabel up and placed her on the strongest branch.

"Well when I first wake up I usually like to jump on my brother, Dipper, and go downstairs to make breakfast, but I didn't do that today. I slept late, like waaaay late. I hardly at my happy pancakes. I've just been feeling…blah and angry. And usually Dipper is the blah and angry one, but that's because Wendy won't go out with him."

The tree chuckled, she has witnessed everything the twins have done since they first arrived. Including the several times Dipper has tried to ask the red headed teen out.

"I know exactly what's you're going through Mabel. Every human goes through it." Miss Tree spoke.

"Taxes?" Mabel questioned innocently.

"Eh…eventually, but no." Miss Tree stroked Mabel's head, "Your mood swings, lack of appetite and energy and confusion is all due to puberty."

"Miss Tree say what?" Mabel's tone was full of doubt and she smiled at the tree like she was joking.

"Try and stay with me kid. Puberty. All humans go through it. You start off as a measly little caterpillar and through time you will turn into a butterfly."

Mabel gasped, "A butterfly?! With giant wings and everything?" Miss Tree tried to clarify what she meant, but Mabel had jumped off the branch and landed gracefully on her feet. She turned sharply and wrapped her short arms around Miss Tree's trunk as much as she could.

"Thank you Miss Tree, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Mabel shouted happily before running back to the Mystery Shack.

Grunkle Stand and Dipper were still in the same spot, but Stand had finally settled on a show and Dipper was half through the journal…again. Mabel slammed the door open, the boys flinched, they were too scared to look at her—afraid that her glare might melt them in their spot. Mabel climbed on top of Stan and kissed head, climbed down and hugged her brother, shaking him slightly.

"If you meet a talking oak tree in the forest don't rip her leaves off. She is all knowing!" Mabel ran upstairs before the boys could ask what mushrooms she ate. What they heard next was Mabel jumping on her bed and laughing crazily. "I'm going to become Queen of the Butterflies!"

Then there was a loud thud followed by a weak confirmation that she wasn't hurt, "The Queen of the Butterflies is okay."

"Man, girls are weird." Dipper muttered shaking his head at his crazy sister as she kept announcing her new title.

Grunkle Stan agreed dryly, "Tell me about it, kid."

**Author's note: I fucking love Mabel. **


	2. Slumber Party

**Gravity Falls**

**One Shot**

**Author's note and disclaimer: I had to write something with the new episode coming out next month. I do not own Gravity Falls.**

**Slumber Party**

Pacifica Northwest. The only child to the wealthiest family in all of Oregon, maybe in the entire United States. Built on lies and deceit, they are a family with masterful fake smiles and egotistical personalities that makes all the peasant folks kiss the very ground they walk on. Pacifica loves it all—the attention—the money, but something nagged at her in the back of her mind. She knew she was missing something.

While reading the latest issue of hot gossip and fashion on her silk comforter, Pacifica heard the door open with an ominous creak. Turning to see who it was and finding nothing, she didn't see the person from behind put a bag over her head. This audacious person left behind a note:

"_Will bring daughter back Sunday morning…maybe in the afternoon…let's play by ear."_

–_Soos Kidnapper_

Pacifica had no idea what was happening and no matter how much she demanded answers, no one would reply—her voice was drowned out by the latest boy band wailing from the speakers. The next thing she knew, she was being carried. She heard the stress of the stairs as they went up and the smell of damp grass and wood burning overwhelmed her senses. The Northwest panicked—kicking and screaming—trying to get away from her capture. What if this person was going to kill her? What if they knew that her family were actually horrible people? Who lied and tricked in order to get everything they wanted.

"God is that Pacifica screaming?" A familiar whining voice reached her ears.

Pacifica knew that I-know-everything tone and it irritated her to her very core. "Dipper? Is that you?" Her voice cracked under the high pitch anger in her question. "If this is some kind of a joke, I will sue!"

"Soos would you please put her down?" Mabel's pleasant voice, dripping with so much sweetness it made the princess sick to her stomach.

"You got it lady dude." Soos carefully put Pacifica on the floor, "You kids have fun. I'll be downstairs with Mr. Pines. We're making a new attraction."

"What is going on here? You rotten Pines twins!"

Mabel giggled, "Oh no, no. Nothing bad will happen, I promise. It's just your first slumber party!"

The female twin pulled the bag off of Pacifica's head, revealing the twin's room with bright colored banners, confetti fluttering in the air, Grenda and Candy were jumping on the beds with noise makers and Dipper was tied to a wooden chair. He looked like he was in the eighth circle of hell and Pacifica was alright with that.

"Were you surprised? We weren't sure if the fake kidnapping was going to work, but Grenda was all for it." Mabel pointed to the energetic girl who was still bouncing on Dipper's bed.

"Kidnapping is fun!" Grenda shouted happily while pumping her fists in the air.

"Come Pacifica it is almost time to do Dipper's make up." Candy showed off her make-up bag and Pacifica did her best to hide her disgust at the store brand powder and liquid. "And then we can start screaming to boy bands and try to levitate one another."

Dipper began to wiggle in his seat and called for Soos and Grunkle Stan to come save him, but no one came. Pacifica watched the horror in his eyes and wondered how entertaining the peasant party could really be. "Alright, but I want to do his hair." Her smug grin made Dipper's blood run cold and shout for help even louder.

Dipper's footsteps were heaving doing down stairs until he stood in the threshold of the television room. Soos and Grunkle Stan barely registered his presence when they greeted the boy. Almost instantly, the two did a double take in unison. Dipper was wearing a frilly pink dress over his shorts, his hair was in pig tails with Mabel's glitter and star stickers decorating his hair. Candy and Grenda gave him one blue and one green eye for eyeshadow—his eyelashes were so pointy and black they could probably kill someone. His cheeks were a bright rosy red and his glossy lips matched.

Grunkle Stan and Soos broke out in laughter, "Oh man, you look just like your sister!"

"You're so pretty dude!"

"I think my lung just collapsed from laughing too hard!" Grunkle Stand dug deeper into his chair while holding his stomach—his feet kicking in the air.

Dipper's arm fanned out, glaring at the men he had been shouting for for the last hour. "Are you finished?"

Soos and Grunkle quickly stopped laughing and regained their composure. "Sorry dude."

"Yea kid, we're sorry." Grunkle Stan cracked open another beer, "Mostly Soos, not me. This is hilarious!"

Dipper clenched his fist and grit his teeth, "I'm so happy you think so." It was right then and there that Dipper sword vengeance on his tormentors.

The girls were upstairs laughing their butts off at the pictures Mabel took. Even Pacifica, who was whipping away a tear, was enjoying herself.

"Hey I've never heard you laugh before." Mabel said, smiling from ear to ear, "I mean I have, but it's usually at people."

Pacifica's smile disappeared and her eyes dropped to the floor. "I'm really sorry about that. Up until recently I thought my family and I were…well…the shit. But Dipper helped me to see how horrible we actually are."

Mabel scooted closer to Pacifica, "You're not all bad. I mean your family is, don't get me wrong. But you see that now and maybe you can change all that. You already did with that lumberjack ghost guy, so there's hope."

Mabel and Pacifica shared the same kind smile until the blonde hit Mabel with a pillow. "I'm still going to enjoy being rich, but I won't be up in everyone's face about it. Maybe I can convince my parents to donate some money to the town or something?"

Mabel grabbed her brother's pillow and returned the shot to Pacifica's back, "I wouldn't expect anything less."

Grenda and Candy joined in on the pillow fight when they were done laughing at Dipper.

"I shall destroy you all!" Candy screamed jumping on her friends.

"Yea! Dog pile!" Grenda leapt, but the three girls scurried away before she flattened them. "Winner! You all are losers!"

Mabel turned on the boy band music and the four girls began dancing and hitting each other with their weapons. Then suddenly, the lights, music and laughter was shut off. "Son of a biscuit eating horse!" Grunkle Stan yelled from the living room, "Soos get a flash light, we're going fuse box hunting!"

"Yes sir, Mr. Pines, sir!"

The girls stood in the darkness while Mabel searched through Dipper's stuff for a flashlight. "So like, what now?" Pacifica asked.

"We could always tell scary stories." Mabel suggested, "Or we can tell each other our deepest darkest secret, permanently cementing our friendship until the end of time."

"And why would we do that?" Pacifica's skepticism only made the other girls want to do it more.

"Everyone in the secret telling circle!" Mabel shouted as Grenda and Candy pulled Pacifica down onto the floor. "Here's how it works. I'll spin this flash light and whoever it lands on has to tell their deepest. Darkest. Secret."

"Sounds easy enough." Pacifica agreed to the game and settled herself into a comfy position. Mabel spun the light with the flick of her wrist and her other two friends started giggling.

The metal took landed on Grenda, "Yea! First one! Okay my greatest darkest and super-secret is that I have a crush on Soos."

Pacifica leaned over towards Mabel and whispered, "Who?"

"The guy that fake kidnapped you." Mabel answered quickly, "For how long?"

"A couple of months." Grenda blushed and smiled sweetly.

"Aw that's so sweet. Best wishes to both of you." Mabel spun the light again until it landed on Candy.

She hopped in her seat and bit her lower lip with excitement. "My secret is that my great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather's spirit is haunting our house. He wants me to become a samurai and become a member of the Yakuza."

"Called it." Mabel high fived Grenda, who in turn also gave the female twin a bog of gummy bears.

The flashlight spun quicker, taking it longer to land on someone. "So what happens if it lands on one of them again?"

"They play a penalty game in the closet." Mabel cheerfully replied, but it didn't matter because it landed on Mabel. "My greatest darkest secret, beside the fact that I'm afraid of heights. Is that I am terrified of gnomes."

"Gnomes?" All three girls asked in unison.

"Yes." Mabel held the flashlight below her face, casting shadows and distorting her face, "Ever since I was forced to almost marry one. I have been afraid of those cute, little lawn gnomes."

Pacifica laughed, "That would happen to you."

"I know right?" Mabel agreed, "It's your turn Pacifica. It can't be about your family being frauds, we already know that."

Pacifica thought for a moment and twirled her hair around her finger. "Oh! My mother makes me dye my hair blonde every three months."

"Why?"

"I have no clue, but it's starting to get super annoying and it makes my head really itchy." Pacifica replied.

"So what is your natural hair color?" Mabel asked.

"Probably brown, like my father's. I can't remember what it looks like." Pacifica shrugged, "You guys won't tell anyone, right?"

Before anyone could promise the door slowly opened with an ominous moan behind the wood. "Who's there? Is that you Grunkle Stan?" Mabel innocently asked.

The moan only got louder as the person shuffled closer, the white and dirty dress dragged on the floor and the black hair completely covered the face. The girls bunched together as they began to freak out.

"I want your…face!" The creature shouted, revealing its disfigured and grotesque face. The girls screamed and covered their faces with their pillows. The monster kept on screaming until it broke out in laughter, "Oh man, you should see your faces!"

"D…Dipper?" Mabel screamed, "What are you doing?"

"Getting my revenge for dressing me up and putting make up on me." Dipper continued to laugh until Grenda grabbed him by the collar.

"What should we do with him?" She asked emotionlessly, staring him dead in the eyes.

Dipper struggled in the clutches of the girl while the others thought up the perfect plan. "I have an idea." Pacifica's grin was evil and it only mean bad news for Dipper.

An hour later, once the power switched on, Pacifica walked into the living room where Zoos and Stan were still watching T.V.

She cleared her throat, "Attention old guys. May I introduce, for the first time ever, Mr. and Mrs. Grenda."

Grenda stepped forth wearing a large suit that they borrowed from Grunkle Stan's closet. And still in her clutches, but wearing a cleaner white dress, was Dipper. They redid his make up to look exactly the same from before. Zoos and Stan shared the same bored expression and then burst out in laughter.

"What a gorgeous couple! Hope the honeymoon goes smoothly!" Stan hollered as he laughed even harder from before.

"I bet their kids will look super adorable!"

"And look, I have pictures!" Mabel shouted, waving the evidence around.

"What?! No!" Dipper finally freed himself and started to chase his sister around, trying to get ahold of the blackmail. Everyone laughed and commented on how well Dipper ran in the dress. After about ten minutes, boy Mabel gave up on the pictures and disappeared upstairs.

In the early afternoon, Soos dropped Pacifica and waited until Mabel and her friend's conversation was finished.

"Did you have fun?" Mabel asked.

"Surprisingly, I did. It was fun to mess with Dipper." Pacifica giggled, look at the picture Mabel took of their party.

"Can I ask you something?"

"What's up?"

"You're a real blonde, aren't you?" Mabel pulled on her own hair.

"Yea I am." Pacifica admitted.

"Then what's your secret? I must know." Mabel made grabby hands out the window.

Pacifica blushed and dug her toe into the dirt, "I left you a note under your pillow to explain everything." Before Pacifica turned towards the gate, she added, "Next time, let's have the party at my place. We can plan mini golf in the backyard and go stair surfing."

"Deal."

Before Soos put the car in park Mabel used her grappling hook to escape to the twin's room faster. She made sure Dipper wasn't in the room before she discovered the piece of paper and curled up with it and locked the door just in case.

_Mabel,_

_My dark secret that you have to take to your grave is…I like your brother. Please don't tell because I don't think he feels the same way._

_-Pacifica_

Mabel tucked the note away in a safe place and thought about Pacifica's words, her neat hand writing and the truth. "Challenge accepted."

**Author's note: Stair surfing is fun. I don't know if you guys have tried it, but it's wonderful. Got to watch for the front door though or else you end up crashing into a tree and running over a cat.**


End file.
